Musings-Lite No. 24

It was a quiet Saturday evening when my wife and I experienced time travel. The machine? An HD TV screen. Travelled back to when? To 1976. To where? The Lawrence Welk (1903 – 1992) show. To what? Singers dressed in yellow, including the men’s suits; black and silver dresses accompanied by a male singer sporting a bow tie and a vest of that same simmering black and silver. A solo act, a trio, a dancing couple, a tap dancer. The music and arrangements were forgettable though the titles of the songs are not. And presiding over this orchestra and the entire show? The irrepressible Lawrence Welk. Our parents loved him and his show, and couldn’t understand why we preferred rock and roll. It was a time long past and now amusing to someone who lived through those years. For the youth of today? Incomprehensible!

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At the recently played Phoenix Open, a player made a hole-in-one at the famous par-3, 16th hole. After acknowledging the crowds roar of approval, he threw the ball into the crowd. Had that been me, not only would I have kept the ball but I would have had it bronzed and mounted.

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Our dog Niles is half Lhasa Apso and half dog. There is no Australian Sheep in his blood. But be they as it may, I have been training him to recognize my hand commands. I’m proud to say I’m half way to having him fully trained. He knows all my hand signals; now I have to train him to obey them.

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A brief event that should let you know not all is lost for humanity – I was leaving a movie theater and had just reached the parking lot when an elderly gentleman walking with a cane wobbled then fell to the pavement. That I stepped to help was not significant, however seeing a few young, brawny guys also step in to help the fallen man made my heart smile.

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John’s parable –

The witch doctor tells the man he is going to die at high noon on a certain day. Believing the witch doctor, the man starts saying his farewells as the day draws near. On the day of his predicted demise, the man eats his last meal – a breakfast, says goodbye to his family and friends then lies down on the ground at the village’s central courtyard. His family, friends and disliked neighbors encircle him. He lies there, his awaiting death, as the sun creeps higher and higher into the sky. Sensing it is just about a minute or two from high noon, the man closes his eyes and prays he will go to heaven.

The minutes pass as he lies still on the ground. He feels nothing but knows he must be dead. The man opens his eyes as he says to himself, “Thank you Lord for taking me into heaven to be with you.” He could see the bright blue sky above and, strangely enough, his family around him as they had been on earth just before he died. Taking it all in, he shouts as loud as he can, “Lord thank you again for taking me into heaven but what the hell are all these people here for? Did they die with me? I thought I was finally going to get rid of them.”

Lesson: You may be surprised if/when you get to heaven; it may not be as you think it is.

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I thought she was a woman liberated from carrying a purse, but it was not to be. Once she passed by I saw she had replaced the unneeded purse with a backpack.

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A sign of the times: As I was pulling out of a donut shop parking spot, another car pulled in next to mine.   It was a woman driver getting ready to go into the donut shop. The thing is she was finishing a slice of pizza before getting out of her car. And that, my friends is the truth.

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I taught myself to read lips. I thought it might be interesting to see what people at a restaurant were saying.

The other night we made reservations at a very nice restaurant. Looking around I noticed a couple two tables away were in a deep discussion. Ah, I thought – a perfect time and place to use my new lip-reading prowess. So I subtlety and casually looked over and saw what she was saying. The man seemed contrite as she spoke. Looking at her, I saw her saying to him, “Don’t lie to me. Just who was it that ate the steel wool in the mailbox?”

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A tweak here and a blip there in evolution and we’d be monkeys and monkeys would be driving Escalades.

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There are many windows through which you can observe life. One of these with the greatest view is the window of poetry – for through it you can see not only the world as it was and is and can be, but you can also know the very souls of those who lived, live and yet-to-live therein.   Enjoy the view, never stop looking – no matter how old you get.

© 2015

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